Source: Sports Chosun
Sulli's birth mother has revealed the reason why she became estranged from her daughter.
On an episode of MBC's 'Documentary Plex' titled "What made Sulli so uncomfortable", her mother stood in front of the camera for the first camera and shed tears revealing Sulli's childhood and casting process, their mother-daughter relationship and the moment she was contacted and told Sulli had committed suicide.
Sulli's childhood and SM casting process
Sulli's mother stated, "When Sulli was 7 years old, her father and I got divorced so I had to get a job. With the money I earned, I thought I should send her to an academy instead of kindergarten so I sent her to an acting academy in Busan. The director there liked her a lot so I thought she'd do well if she went to an academy in Seoul. Because the academy was so expensive there, after 6 months we ran short of funds but Sulli cried to me saying "she wanted to learn more."
"A month later she was cast in 'Ballad of Seodong.' The director Lee Byung Hoon said Sulli's acting is really good and she's confident, bright and her face lights up like a princess. It was then that a reporter suggested that she promotes under the stage name "Sulli" as opposed to her birth name Choi Jin-ri."
"After news article came out, I got a call from SM and they told me they would raise her to be SM's star celebrity. That's how she ended up living a dorm at such a young age."
Tiffany who was at the same agency with Sulli revealed how they first met. She stated, "I first met Sulli when she was doing ‘Ballad of Seodong.’ At SM, she was already a famous child acting star. I think Sulli became extremely wary of those around her in order to survive."
Her mother stated, "I didn't sign a singer contract with SM at first. We only signed an acting contract. But Sulli kept growing taller and taller so her position as child actor became ambiguous. Then SM said, what is our company good at? Why not become an idol. That's how Sulli ended up making her debut in a girl group."
How their mother-daughter relationship was cut-off
Her mother stated, "We were all happy until the rumor that Sulli was dating Choiza who was 13 years her senior broke out. Even after seeing photos of the two, I didn’t believe it. I thought it was an overblown and exaggerated article. I called Sulli right away to ask and she said, ‘Mom, it’s true. To suddenly have a boyfriend 14 years older than you means that you move up too many steps without having that middle ground. Everything changes, like how you play, drinking culture, and your conversation patterns."
"Sulli got angry and upset that I opposed the relationship and told me, "I think I’ve worked hard until now to earn this money, so please recognize that. I'll receive money from the agency personally with my next payment so write a detailed statement of my expenses and send it so that I can receive the settlement."
Her mother added, " I have a fiery personality too so we ended up saying "let's quit it today" and after that we spoke occasionally and eventually never saw each other. That's how our mother-daughter relationship was cut off."
Sulli x Choiza's relationship
Reporters stated, "Sulli and Choiza's relationship sparked a huge amount of hate. It wasn't just a few comments, there were all-time malicious comments that were sexually unspeakable."
To this, Tiffany who was her senior at SM at the time stated, "Wherever you go, people take photos of you and hate comments get written online. To be honest, they had just gone to enjoy a very normal date, but if that suddenly blows up, I think it’d be very hard. Sulli was probably only 20 years old then but the comments kept talking about her like that so I'm sure she felt guilty."
Sulli's first suicide attempt in 2016
Her mother stated, "I got a call from the company in 2016 that Sulli had slit her wrists. Because she had been taken to the emergency room, articles were going to come out so SM called me to make sure I wasn't surprised. They told me everything was under control but I insisted on wanting to go to the hospital myself. Then SM told me news outlets were already reporting that Sulli got hurt from slipping in the bathroom and if I went it couldn't be covered up. I ended up not going to the hospital and cried at home for a week. At that time, Sulli had broken up with Choiza after dating for 3 years."
"I think this was possibly a last ditch effort for her. Everything must've felt unsure to her. The man she loved had left and her mom was not by her side. It must’ve been hard for her to deal with all of these things. I also think that she didn’t have anyone by her side to speak truthfully to her."
In an old interview, Sulli had spoken about her time at the hospital stating, “I used to hide behind those close to me and try to stay strong together, but there were times when people I was close to, and even just people around me had all left. Since those people were also having a hard time, I think they were busy protecting themselves. I did reach out my hand to ask for help, but people did not grab onto my hand. That’s why I felt defeated then, because I had no one to talk to.”
Sulli's controversies: "Party with friends" "whipped cream photo" "No Bra"
Sulli then threw herself amid controversy. A simple party with friends was deemed "promiscuous" and a photo with spray whipped cream in her mouth was all called "obscene." Sulli confidently explained that her "No bra" photo was because "she thought a bra as an accessory and wanted to break the mold of prejudice." But this caused further controversy.
Tiffany stated, "Because of the ebbs and environment of a celebrity's life, the one place you could freely express yourself was social media. To be honest, the space was so relaxing. I always applauded Sulli’s courage and desire to express herself and be free. She questioned the world but the world kept saying no."
In another interview, Sulli had explained, “Since I worked from a young age, everyone thinks I’m very mature. Even if I say I’m having a hard time, there wasn’t anyone who listened to me.”
Sulli's suicide in October 2019
Her mother talked about when she was first contacted and told Sulli had committed suicide.
She stated, "I got a call saying Sulli had taken her life. She always lived alone in that house but I couldn’t accept the fact that she left like that, alone, by herself. I said that I would bring her out holding her hand and went to Sulli’s house. She was by herself in a room on the second floor. I touched her hands, and her face, and sat there for an hour. I wish I had touched her from head to toe. I still feel regretful thinking that I wasn’t able to say goodbye properly one last time. That I’m sorry for being so late. I think about wanting to go back to all the times I missed."
After Sulli committed suicide, her mother revealed that she found a lot of medicine bags at her house. She stated, "There were so many bags of medicine at Sulli's house. The amount was more than you could digest. Being on stage as a singer was so scary for her that she developed a panic disorder and depression. How lonely she must've been. I regret that I realized that now."
Friends stated, "Sulli posted a lot of photos on her private account before she left. Thinking about it now I think she was greeting us to say goodbye."
Tiffany stated, "After we lost Sulli, I thought of myself first rather than thinking about why she had to leave. I thought why didn't I approach her even one more time? I feel sorry that I couldn't share any deep conversations at her side. If you think about it, don't we all need help sometimes? I want to tell her, "thank you for spending your time in a brave, bright, and cool way."
Meanwhile, Sulli, who was born in 1994, made her debut as a child actor at the age of 12. She started her career as a singer in 2009 as member of girl group f(x) and committed suicide at age 25.